Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
An Open Letter To Amber Heard
I know that right now you're on a whirlwind track to fame and stardom, starring in soap operas, and shooting movies with big stars like Crispin Glover and stuff. At 21 that's got to be a trip! Congratulations on your success in the entertainment industry. Keep your head on straight and you should be fine.
Which brings me to the point of this open letter. I understand that you are an atheist. Good for you! I like Ayn Rand's writing as well.
Do do you think you could fit time into your busy schedule to be the spokesmodel for atheism?
I mean, Richard Dawkins is all smart and stuff, but he looks like a mud duck. As do most of us internet atheists. I mean, cheese and rice! Check out my ugly mug over there on the left! We want to attract people to atheism and away from theism - not scare them away!
It wouldn't take much - just release the rights on a few of your publicity photos, and then get quoted saying a few choice sound bites into a recorder about how frickin' cool atheism is - or some such. You know, get all the young hep cats involved.
In any case, thanks for your time, and thanks for considering it.
Oh, yeah, one more thing - Hubba hubba! Wow! Pbbthhttpbt! Nyuck nyuck nyuck! *steam shooting out of ears* - You make me proud to be an atheist.