Bush's Intelligent Designer

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Thanks to Pharyngula, UTI has discovered that President Bush, speaking to reporters in Texas on Monday, said that he believes schools should discuss "intelligent design alongside evolution when teaching students about the creation of life."

We are so screwed.

[link] I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of thought," Bush said. "You're asking me whether or not people ought to be exposed to different ideas; the answer is yes."

Well hully-gee, Mr. Bush! I agree completely! Let's expose our kids to a bunch of "different ideas"! How about the Japanese (Shinto) creation myth? I mean, as creation myths, ahem, I mean "theories", go it's certainly more fun to read than that dry old boring Discovery Institute crapola. And, it has just as much evidence supporting it as ID does:

[link] Before the heavens and the earth came into existence, all was a chaos, unimaginably limitless and without definite shape or form. Eon followed eon: then, lo! out of this boundless, shapeless mass something light and transparent rose up and formed the heaven. This was the Plain of High Heaven, in which materialized a deity called Ame-no-Minaka-Nushi-no-Mikoto (the Deity-of-the-August-Center-of-Heaven). Next the heavens gave birth to a deity named Takami-Musubi-no-Mikoto (the High-August-Producing-Wondrous-Deity), followed by a third called Kammi-Musubi-no-Mikoto (the Divine-Producing-Wondrous-Deity). These three divine beings are called the Three Creating Deities.

I mean, wow! Now that's some good creation "theory", by gum!

But, why stop there? We should expose our kids to all the "different ideas" about creation. Give them ALL "equal time", I say! Nothing else would be fair! So, first we would start with ID, then go on to Babylonian Creation "Theory", African Creation "Theory" - Olori, Other African Creation "Theories", Korean & Japanese Creation "Theories", Navajo Creation "Theory", Norse Creation "Theory", Creation "Theory" from India, Japanese Creation "Theory", Comanche Creation "Theory", Chinese Creation "Theory", Chelan Creation "Theory", Pima Creation "Theory", Mayan Creation "Theory", Miwok Creation "Theory", Scandinavian (Norse) Creation "Theories", Salish Creation "Theory", Australian Aboriginal Creation "Theory", Hopi Creation "Theory", Tahitian Creation "Theory", Yokut Creation "Theory", Comanche Creation "Theory", Egyptian Creation "Theories", African - Mande, Yoruba Creation "Theories", Micmac Creation "Theory", Lakota Creation "Theory", India, Romania, Mongol, etc.., Chinese Creation Theory/Flood Theory, Assyrian / Babylonian Creation "Theory", Maori Creation "Theory", Christian & Jewish Creation "Theory" (Genesis), Aztec Creation "Theory", Digueno Creation "Theory", Apache Creation "Theory", African Creation "Theories", Dakota Creation "Theory", Hungarian Creation "Theory", Iroquois Creation "Theory", Inuit Creation "Theory", Huron Creation "Theory", and Hawaiian Creation "Theory".

What's that? You say that evolution isn't on this list? Well, that's because evolution isn't a "theory" of origins. Yeah, I know! Weird, huh?

So, we'll keep the scientific theory of evolution separate in biology class, and you-all can create some new, huge, monster of a "comparative origins" course or something, and talk about your magical, invisible superfriends all you want.

I repeat: We are so screwed.

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