Observations and inanities by a second-shift assistant supervisor in the Puppy-Grinding division of the Evil Atheist Conspiracy® (our motto: "Sure it's cruel, but think of the jobs!"), your host, Brent Rasmussen.
The United States Witch Doctors Corp
The United States military Chaplain Corps has had a privileged place in the American military system ever since it was formed in the First World War. Theses are our shamans, our witch doctors, casting chicken bones and invoking the protection of the god of war to protect our warriors.
In recent years, in response to soldiers complaining that their own faith was marginalized or that they were proselytized to, the Chaplains Corps has attempted to transform itself into a more secular organization that provides not only equal-opportunity magical incantations to our soldiers, sailors, and airmen, but also "counseling" in the field of war, and during wartime. Think "Father Mulcahy" from M.A.S.H. Untrained, bigoted "counselors" who have direct and unfettered access to our soldiers at the lowest, most vulnerable points in their lives.
Here's the kicker: We pay for them. You are paying the salary of a person who dismisses you as a hellbound liar. Someone who makes the claim that you aren't really an atheist and an agnostic, but instead just someone who pretends that there isn't a god so that you can go out and sin like crazy without feeling guilty. Someone who states in a smug voice that there are "no atheists in foxholes", like they just made it up on the spot.
Think I'm kidding?
[link] But as a military chaplain, Father Jaramillo ministers to all the soldiers of his unit, regardless of their denomination.
"I know we have soldiers of all persuasions and religious bents," he said in an e-mail to The Leaven, newspaper of the Archdiocese of Kansas City, Kan. "We have two agnostics, one atheist and one Wiccan listed on the roster. I would bet anything that when push comes to shove, the four of them will come knocking on my door or seeking a higher power for some peace of mind."
The Chaplain Corps will probably never go away. As long as there are religious folks, the majority will force the rest of us to pay for supporting their stone-age superstitions and their own magical shaman. The military shamans will continue to dehumanize and ridicule the atheists in their foxholes, the only sane ones in the bunch. In the long run, there's really not much we can do about it except to complain. Both ours and their numbers are just too small to really make any sort of real difference.
But, it sure rubs me the wrong way every time I hear or read about one of these prancing, deluded witch doctors pontificating about some obscure magic spell - and I realize that I'm paying him to talk nonsense like that.
Yes, I realize that in the big picture, the long view, the Chaplain Corps doesn't really matter much - but as a veteran I can't not speak up when this sort of thing happens. I have too much self respect to stay quiet.
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Military chaplains
The NYT ran an article in July '05 about evangelical Air Force chaplains. The paper took a rather neutral tone as I recall. This is a letter to the editor which I fired off at the time that was never published.
Presumably there are professional psychologists available within the medical system, but in the field, I don't know.
"I would bet anything that
"I would bet anything that when push comes to shove, the four of them will come knocking on my door or seeking a higher power for some peace of mind."
Of course, unless you are a sociopath, you probably have morals, reguardless of if they are religious/self chosen, most people after having killed/or seen someone be killed are going to be extreamly distraught. Thus they will need appropriate beliefs justifying what they have done/witnessed.
Most people are brought up with religious belief systems, they are INCAPABLE, especially in the midst of a war to justify/rationalize/intellectulize what is going on, thus the "magical shammans", will always be there since they are very good at confirming preexisting, or instilling new beliefs in people to justify all they are going through. It's psychological, nothing more. Also you can't be a good 'shaman' without actually beliving the drivvel your telling people, can you?
Honestly, I don't see why it really matters, just something to rant/rave about I suppose. As understanding of the human mind becomes more common knowledge with time and not only understood by the well educated, thus will these magical shammans be put to rest. Along with your annoying anger at them.
anyone remember at the start of the war....?
...does anyone remember the jem at the start of the war about the Unit chaplain who set up a shower for the field soldiers to use but ONLY if they agreed to convert or, if already converted, declare their faith; I forget the particulars, but it really pissed me off, reading it at the time.
The closest I ever got to military service was 4 years High School NJROTC and 1.5 years college NROTC at Texas A&M (one of the nation's few "full time" ROTC programs in a normal college setting)--I had a three year NROTC scholarship but washed out due to bad eyesight (excessive refractive error). I had LASIK last year--if the procedure had been around when I was still a cadet, I could've been commissioned...maybe even have been flight-school eligible. Go figure. We had cadet chaplains at Texas A&M, but nobody took them seriously...made fun of them behind their backs for being such nerdy killjoys.
I also remember a story about how the Army in particular is relaxing standards for Chaplains, and recruiting more heavily from less theologically rigorous (and considerably more arch-conservative) denominations like Assemblies of God, etc, people--OFFICERS, mind you, who didn't even have to get a divinity degree anymore.
And the recent shenanigans at the USAF academy convinced my cousin, who's dad's an AIR FORCE Colonel, and who loves the USAF himself, to opt for Annapolis instead. Being ex-Navy (sort of) myself, that was alright in my book ;-) (but the Navy's gain was the Air Force's loss, let me tell you).
At least the Jarheads don't have their own Chaplains.
I always thought that was pretty cool of the Marine Corps.
(I hope that hasn't changed....)
-JJR
USMC Chaplains
Well, I served in the USMC from '96 til '02 and there was a chaplain available not far from my barracks. Frankly, I don't recall if was a Navy Chaplain or if he was strictly USMC but I assure you that the Marines do indeed have (and have had) chaplains.
Seriously?
So, you really think the Chaplains Corps is a waste? I have seen them do much more then say a little prayer before our deployments and ceremonies. They dont even push their religions on us. These Chaplains are always there to say the prayers for our fallen soldiers when we are in combat. They counsel those who need help in marriage, religion and their personal lives. They keep everything said to them confidential
(unless you said you wanted to commit suicide or something). You can talk to them about anything. They are always there to be an objective ear to whats going on. A Chaplain is the last person I would have a negative comment for. What do you have against Chaplains?
Yes, Seriously.
First of all, I would like to thank you for your service to our country. It makes me proud to be an American every time I talk to one of our service men or women. You folks out on the sharp end of the stick are what keeps our country free.
Yes I do.
How many non-Christian chaplains have you come into contact with? In other words, what's to push? Most everyone serving in the military is already a Christian. My post was specific to atheists and agnostics who are constantly being told by military Chaplains - like the one quoted above - that they are immoral liars simply by virtue of being atheists and agnostics.
Are you an atheist and/or an agnostic? If not, then how can you make this statement? If so, then I have to ask if you're blind, my friend! (Said very gently, of course.) Christianity is evangelized, proselytized, and "pushed" on every non-Christian in the military by a primarily-Christian Chaplaincy. This is very plain, and is given the wink and the nod by a primarily Christian command structure.
That's un-American and unconstitutional! This country was founded upon the principle of freedom of religious expression. Being tacitly forced to support Christian Chaplains by a "Tyranny of the Majority" is just plain wrong - regardless of the good intentions behind the concept.
Look, I understand if you're a religious person, and I do understand if you personally think that saying magic words over a fallen soldier is somehow akin to actually "doing something", but please answer me one question:
Would you be comfortable with a High Priest in the Church of Satan being there to "...say the prayers for our fallen soldiers when we are in combat"?
Why or why not? If this does indeed makes you uncomfortable, as it does me, then I want you to understand that atheists and agnostics see no difference whatsoever between the silly magical incantations of a Satanic Priest and a Catholic Priest.
Both of them are silly, made up, fairy tale magic fantasy-land gobbledy-gook.
And our taxes are paying for this nonsense.
Well, see, here's the thing. I really don't have anything against Chaplains per se. I totally understand the whole sympathetic ear thing, the whole "shoulder to cry on" thing. The problem is that there is nothing inherently religious about a counselor. So why is the Chaplaincy composed of only religious people? In fact, there is a federal law requiring that they be religious.
Why? If they are just secular counselors - as the apologists for the Chaplaincy fall-back and claim when they are questioned about the legality and constitutionality of a religious corps of counselors - as YOU just claimed - then why the hell can't the ranks be filled with actual, degreed, trained counseling professionals instead of UN-trained religious shamans and magical spell-casters? What in the world makes you think that religious priests and shamans and pastors and witch doctors have any idea at all how to be effective counselors? Or how to be marriage counselors, for goodness' sake! What exactly prepares them for this role? The bible reading, the celibacy, or the magic spell casting?
So, as I said, I really don't have a problem with the Chaplains themselves, and I even think that the concept is a sound one - but I just don't feel that I should have to pay for it. My beef is that I'm paying them to be silly and superstitious and to perform magic spells against my will. I think that if they really wanted to be Chaplains, they should pay for their own way, or take up a collection from their supporters. Forcing every American taxpayer to foot the bill is unconstitutional, in my opinion.
I mean, good for them that they want to help the soldiers. I admire that. I'd like to help the soldiers too. Heck, man, I'm a GREAT listener, and have a very sympathetic ear. Do you think that the Chaplains Corp would accept me into the program and pay me to be an untrained counselor?
Nope. Know why?
Because I am an atheist.
I can PAY for the Chaplains, but I can never BE a Chaplain.
Do you think that's constitutional and legal?
Do you think that's American?
But we've got this incredible national blind spot when it comes to religion - Christianity especially - so as a country we overlook this gross violation of the First Amendment and react with shock and anger when someone points it out.
Like you did.
Um, Brent?
Hey man, how do you really feel about this issue?
Yeah, I'm kidding. I'll second Rick's comment: Well said.
Jim Downey
"Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering."
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Well said
Well said, both in the reply and the post itself.