Jeff Mullin Feels Sorry For You

Brent Rasmussen's picture

Jeff Mullin is a "Senior Writer" for the Enid, Oklahoma News & Eagle newspaper. A few years ago he wrote an article "poking fun" at atheists for having the unmitigated gall to suggest that traditional god-belief was exactly the same as belief in an Invisible Pink Unicorn (blessed be Her unseen curly mane.) He subsequently received a letter from an atheist who asked him what gave him the right to ridicule atheists for their lack of belief?

Nothing, apparently. He just likes to ridicule atheists. So, nice Christian guy that he is, he decided to do it again. This time in a column dripping with insincere pity for the poor, deluded atheists.

How very thoughtful of him.

More below the fold...

[Jeff Mullin] I acknowledge I have no right to ridicule atheists, and under the Constitution no one has a right to discriminate against anyone for any matter of race, religion or gender.

And yet you do it anyway. Great job! At least you're an honest asshole.

I can feel sorry for them, however, and I do.

We don't need your pity, Jeff. Especially your insincere, "Church Lady doing the Superior Dance" pity. I actually feel sorry for someone like you who is so deluded that they think that a special, magical man in the sky is deeply concerned with how many times they masturbate in a week. Goodness! It's like looking at an ignorant child playing with his blocks and trying to build a tower to the moon so that he can play with "the moon man" some day. Amusing, and slightly uncomfortable when you realize that this idiot isn't a child at all, but a full grown human man.

*shudder*

Hall has been called immoral, a devil worshipper (sic.) and even gay. When the suit was filed, in September, Hall was in Qatar. When his fellow soldiers learned of the suit, he feared for his own safety. Once a group of soldiers followed and harassed him. The Army said it couldn’t protect him overseas and shipped him back to Fort Riley, Kan., where he is a military police team leader.

Christians are called upon to “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations.” So we do, some directly and boldly,

...and use direct physical threats of death to bring the Good News™ to the heathen unbeliever scum.

[...]others more quietly, preferring to let the example of their lives speak for them.

I have zero problem with this sort of Christian. Know where I can find any like this in the military, because they sure seem to be in short supply.

For some, however, the words ring hollow. For them the promises of eternal life are as empty as the chances of running across an Invisible Pink Unicorn anytime soon.

You finally get it! Wow! I really didn't think you had it in you...

Oh. Nevermind.

I feel sorry for them. How hopeless it must be to believe there is nothing to look forward to beyond this mortal coil. When an atheist loses a loved one, how difficult it must be not to enjoy the assurance that family member truly is in a better place.

I feel sorry for Christians. How hopelessly insane it must be to believe contrary to all evidence that there is something to look forward to beyond this mortal coil. When a theist loses a loved one, how difficult it must be to swallow the deluded and irrational assurances that your family member has flown up into the sky on silky angel's wings to live in a magical happy-land with Jesus forever.

How lonely they must be to have no one to whom they can turn, anywhere, anytime, under any circumstance.

I don't speak for any other atheists beside myself, but I have lots of folks to turn to under any circumstances, anytime, anywhere. My friends, my family, etc.

Why are you pulling this garbage out of your ass Jeff? Do you truly think that by painting atheists as sad, lonely derelicts who lurch through life from one despondent tragedy to the next before finally offing themselves in abject depression that it'll make Christians look better?

Are you serious?

Atheists of my acquaintance are some of the most well-adjusted and friendly folks on the planet. They don't make me uncomfortable in interpersonal relationships the way that a happy-slappy, all-Jesus, all-the-time religious wackjob does.

In short, they are normal, rational people - not deluded superstitious children who like to do the Superior Dance.

(Yes, yes, I am ridiculing you in this blog posting. That's what I do in blog postings. That's what this blog is for in some cases. I don't apologize for that.

However, if you think for one second that I would act like this in person, then you don't know me at all. I am pleasant, soft spoken, and I conform to our societal conventions on propriety and politeness.

I still don't agree with you, and I will let you know that I think that your "sadder than thou" attitude is childishly silly - but I would be polite to you while I said it.)

Prayer is an amazing gift. Not that the answers always suit us, but we can always ask.

Prayer is an amazingly selfish act - one that screams "Look at me! Look how freaking HOLY I am being now!!" - while actually doing nothing at all.

Grow up and join the rest of us adults here in the real world Jeff.

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bernarda's picture

Prayer

How god handles prayers is explained in Mr. Deity episode 4.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=UaZDcS-rMf4&feature=user

No More Mr. Nice Guy's picture

Only imaginary people count

How lonely they must be to have no one to whom they can turn, anywhere, anytime, under any circumstance.

I don't speak for any other atheists beside myself, but I have lots of folks to turn to under any circumstances, anytime, anywhere. My friends, my family, etc.

Ah, but only imaginary people count. I sure couldn't make it through life without my imaginary friend Skippy. Wonder how he's doing these days. I haven't seen him since I was four.

- No More Mr. Nice Guy!

Hank Fox's picture

Imaginary friends

Skippy says Hi. He's very happy to hear from you, hopes you're doing well, and says to tell you the years since your friendship have been busy ones.

After you stopped believing in him, he went off to college and studied hard, graduated and got a job as a small religion in California. Afterwards, he went back to college and did some post-grad work so he could move into bigger imaginary positions. He served an internship in philosophy as laissez-faire capitalism, then later got his big break in government and became trickle down economics.

Nearing retirement, he's eyeing an advisory role in the field of history, where he may join a small group attempting to make George W. Bush look like a great president.

Steve James's picture

As for me

When things get tough to bear for me and the stress is getting me down--when it seems like life is against me and I can't get a break...I imagine myself in command of a gigantic battle robot, crushing all opposition under my spiked jackboots of hardened battle-steel, ignoring the screams and pleadings of those who have wronged me.

Did I type that out loud? Sorry, what I meant to say was" "I hate Jesus because he won't let me sin like I want to."

Or--wait. How come I can't sin if I hate Jesus? Wouldn't that just piss him off, thus fulfilling the goal of my juvenile rebellion? And later, I can repent and he'll have to take me back, no matter how pissed off he is. Sweet! It's win/win!

Unless I'm getting this confused. I have been reading Chick Tracts and 'Left Behind' articles.

Do I hate Jesus because something bad happened to me as a child, or am I just pretending to hate him to get attention and sin all I want? I got that nobody actually disbelieves in him, so I'm in denial of some kind. Can I pick all of the above?

This contradictory thinking is too complicated. No wonder atheists are crazy, right? Can't some supernatural force just come into my body and turn me into a mindless, obedient zombie, thus guaranteeing my ticket to heaven and an eternity of hanging out with Christians?

On second thought, I think I'll stick to the battle robot.

Steve "Take THAT, Person-turning-Left-Against Traffic!" James

Hank Fox's picture

Heh.

I like to say:

I'm an atheist because God killed my kitten when I was 5 years old. Now I try to entice other people into atheism so that later, God can look down into Hell and see all those damned souls screaming there and say "Dang, I should never have killed that kid's kitten."

Sudo's picture

The Constitution?

Does making fun of someone or criticizing their beliefs constitute discrimination, under the Constitution?

Brent Rasmussen's picture

No - with caveats.

Unless that "making fun of" and criticism is coupled with not hiring them, or not promoting them, or firing them because of your criticism of their beliefs.

It's also dicey and questionable for an employer to criticize or "make fun" of their employee's beliefs, no matter what the context. This is because of the "appearance of impropriety". If an employee can reasonably conclude from their employer's "making fun" that their job is threatened, or subject to greater scrutiny than a co-worker's because of their employer's criticism, then it is discriminatory.

Milo Johnson's picture

speaking for myself

As an atheist ever since I was old enough to consider the question, and an absolute, no-doubts-at-all atheist at that, I can only say that I have never met anyone as happy as I am. Conversely, and deduced from my own observations, the christians include the unhappiest people of all. They are always wallowing in their guilts and failures and trying to pull everyone else into the self-loathing party as well. If condescending tools like this guy want to persuade the world of the correctness of their position, perhaps they should start by demonstrating its effectiveness.

Steve James's picture

I left him a note:

Here's where the evidence points: Magic doesn't work and when you die, it's permanent. Your invisible friend can't save you.

Steve "And he pities me?" James

The Future Was Yesterday's picture

That this clown is an idiot

That this clown is an idiot is a given. Religion a.k.a. idiots are one and the same. You can't be religious unless you're an idiot, because that's one of the requirements for joining any religion.

I'm being increasingly amused by the "I'm offended" crowd. Just because I call you a truck doesn't make you a truck!:) Grow a skin and grow up even!:P The "I'm offended crowd" is becoming almost as much entertainment as the religious idiots.:) If somebody you've never met and don't know can rock your beliefs with words, then you don't have much in the way of beliefs. And this comment isn't aimed at present company, I hasten to add.

Jim Downey's picture

What?!?!

And this comment isn't aimed at present company, I hasten to add.

What?!?! We can't even take umbrage at what you say?!?! I'll have you know that my skin is as thin as anyone's, buddy!

Oh, wait . . .

Jim Downey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Like Science Fiction? Read *or listen to* my novel, Communion of Dreams, for free.

Brian Dunbar's picture

Ridicule

He subsequently received a letter from an atheist who asked him what gave him the right to ridicule atheists for their lack of belief?

This is America: there are no sacred cows.

We're not allowed to make fun of people who have strange and wacky belief (or non-belief) systems? That's going to take a lot of fun out of life.

Brent Rasmussen's picture

I Pity Da Foo

Ridicule, poking fun, making fun, making hamburger out of sacred cows - all good. I don't necessarily agree with the atheist who wrote Jeff the letter. (I guess I should have made that more clear.) She should grow a thicker skin, or write her own opinion column or blog post and take him to task for what he said if she feels that strongly about it.

But pity? Fuck you and the sacred cow you rode in on. Pity will get a response from me every time. :)

Hank Fox's picture

Mr. T and Me

I want to make sure we keep this right to make fun of each other. I've read articles, I think I recall them being set in Britain, about people being prosecuted for hate crimes for disrespecting Islam, or religion generally. (Was it about those cartoons? I forget.)

It would be a REAL pity if it became a crime to call the pope a weenie, or poke fun at televangelists, in public.

Brian Dunbar's picture

Recursive pity

I pity you for rejecting his pity ..

Well, no. But recursive stuff tickles my fancy: had to say it.

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